No Man is an Island
by Shamrocky22410
Summary: Darry knew he shouldn't forgive her, but sometimes it's hard to be alone when you're still in love. And when things with his family start to fall apart, he knows he needs her.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hi everyone! This is the first fic that I've written in several years. I'm trying to get back into fan fiction again. Feel free to review!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton

Chapter One

It started out as one of those rare days where I had some time off, and I wasn't so exhausted that I spent the whole day sleeping. I wanted to do something with my old friends because I hadn't seen them in several months, but there was too much to do around the house. Soda had been sent to Vietnam about six months ago, Pony's classes at school took a lot of time, and I had picked up another job to help ends meet. With the gang hanging out at our house all the time and Pony and I always busy, the house was a mess. So instead of doing something fun, I used my precious time off to clean the house.

I started in the kitchen. About two week's worth of dishes had piled up in the sink and on the kitchen counter. I washed them all and then cleaned up the living room. After several hours, everything but the bedrooms was clean. I decided to let Pony clean his own bedroom by himself, and I started on my room.

I hadn't been cleaning my room long when I found an old shoebox that had been shoved into the back of my closet. I couldn't remember what was in it, so I sat down on my bed and opened the lid. I instantly regretted it. Inside the box were pictures of me and my ex-girlfriend, Shirley. I slammed the lid down as fast as I could, but it was too late. All my memories of Shirley and I came flooding back.

I had met Shirley when I was about to start my freshman year in high school. I had made the football team, and I was at one of the summer practice sessions. Shirley had made the cheerleading squad, and she was also at a summer practice. Sometimes during breaks, the guys on the football team and the girls on the cheerleading squad would talk. That was how Shirley and I first met.

Shirley was beautiful. Her strawberry blonde, wavy hair would reflect the sunlight in the prettiest way, she had deep brown eyes that would light up whenever she talked about something she liked, and her skin was smooth and fair as porcelain. On the last day of summer practice I asked her if she wanted to get something to eat with me. I was terrified that she would say no, but she said yes. We went to a burger place near the school, and we sat there for hours eating and talking until the restaurant closed. After that, we walked back to school and I waited with her until her mom showed up. We talked the whole time, and we never ran out of things to say. Before she went home for the night, she gave me her phone number, and I called her every day until school started. Two weeks into our freshman year we started going steady.

We were definitely a stereotypical couple: the football player and the cheerleader. It got even worse later in high school because I made quarterback of the football team, and Shirley was the cheerleading captain. In senior Who's Who, I was most popular boy and she was most popular girl. We got teased a lot about the clichéd perfectness of our relationship, but it's not really something either of us could help. When something is right it's just right, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I was sure that I was going to marry her after we graduated from college, but then things went terribly wrong.

Shirley and I had both planned to go to the University of Texas. They had given her a cheerleading scholarship, and I had a scholarship to play football. Everything looked like it was going to work out, but then one night my parents sat me down and told me that they had looked over the expenses for college, and even with my scholarship they wouldn't be able to afford it. I was heartbroken. College had always been my dream, but suddenly that didn't seem to matter. I was too concerned about what would happen to my relationship with Shirley to think about how I wouldn't get to go to college.

Shirley and I spent a long time talking about what to do. She offered to go to college in Tulsa or not go to college at all until I could afford it, but I wouldn't let her. She had been so excited about cheerleading at Texas, and she had even found a sorority that she wanted to join. She had to go. In the end, we decided to break up. It lasted two days. We got back together and decided to try a long-distance relationship. Texas was far away, so I would only get to see her during vacations, but we were going to keep in touch through phone calls and letters. Even though I knew that a lot of long-distance relationships failed in the end, I was convinced that ours wouldn't because we were so in love. Boy, was I wrong.

Shirley started college, and she was always busy with cheerleading practice, studying, and her sorority. I started working two full time jobs. I worked so much partly so that I could save up money so I could join Shirley at Texas the next year, and partly to keep my mind off how she wasn't in Tulsa with me. Because we were both so busy, we hardly had time to talk on the phone. We wrote letters to each other once a week though, so we were at least keeping in touch a little.

When Thanksgiving break came, Shirley came back to Tulsa. It was the first time I had seen her since the very end of August. We were inseparable for all of Thanksgiving break, which made me feel like our relationship was going to last. Shirley definitely still loved me, and I was still very much in love with her. And something that she said gave me even more hope for our future. She said that she wasn't doing well in her classes, and she was worried that she was going to flunk out of college and have to come home. I told her that everything would be ok, and that if she did come home I would marry her and take care of her.

Shirley made it through the first semester, but she lost her scholarship because of her grades. Her parents agreed to let her go back to Texas for the spring semester, but she had to bring her grades up. I almost hoped that she wouldn't so that she would come home. In early March, it looked like I was going to get my wish. Shirley had Ds or Fs in all of her classes, and she was constantly stressed because she was working as hard as she could and not making the grades to show it. I thought that she would definitely come home for good at the end of the semester, but then one day I got a phone call from her.

"Darry, I'm sorry. I love you. You know I love you. But we need to end this," she said. Those words still ring in my head all these years later.

I begged her to change her mind. I told her that I would walk all the way to Austin if I could just see her and make things right, but it wasn't going to work that way. She was pregnant, and the kid wasn't mine. Apparently, she had been upset about her grades and how badly she was doing at college, so she went to a party at one of the fraternity houses. She had way too much to drink, and this one guy kept hitting on her. She ended up sleeping with him. It was only meant to be a one-night stand. I wasn't even supposed to find out about it, but then she got pregnant. I said that I would take care of her and her baby even though it wasn't mine, but she said no. After what she had done, she felt like I was too good for her, and that I would be better off without her. I tried to tell her that I still loved her and that I didn't care what she had done, but she still wouldn't come back to me.

I was heartbroken. I stayed in bed sobbing for a week. Even now, two years later, things still remind me of her every now and then, and I start missing her again. I think that's why I haven't dated anyone even though Pony and Soda keep trying to get me to find a girlfriend. I'm still not over Shirley.

The worst part is that I still don't know what happened to her. I heard that she got married to the father of her baby, but that she miscarried. Apparently, the guy that she married is a jerk, but she hasn't divorced him. She hasn't gone back to school either. At least, I think that's what happened. I've heard a few things from some of our old high school friends, but I don't know if any of them are true. I wish I knew what had happened. It bugs me that I don't have any sense of closure.

Finding the pictures of Shirley had taken me out of the cleaning mood. I got up off my bed, went into the kitchen and grabbed the case of beer that Two-Bit had left in our fridge. I turned on the TV without even noticing what was on and started drinking.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Ponyboy had been on a date, and he got home at about midnight. By that point I was pretty trashed. I had drank more than half of the case of beer, and I wasn't planning on stopping until I was done. The TV had gone off the air, but I hadn't even noticed.

"Hey, Pony," I slurred. "How was your date?"

Pony gave me a confused look. "It was fine," he said.

"Glad to hear it," I replied.

"'Looks like you had fun tonight too," Pony said as he looked at all of the empty bottles of booze.

"Yeah, I guess I did," I replied.

"Well, I'm kind of tired. I guess I'll go to bed," Pony said.

"No, no, no. Come here. Come talk to me for a minute," I said.

Ponyboy sat down next to me on the couch. He looked confused.

"Pony, do you remember Shirley? Shirley McMaster?" I asked.

"Yeah. What about her?" Pony replied.

"I loved her, Ponyboy," I said. "And she just left me for dead. I don't even know for sure what happened to her. And you know what? It's not a good feeling."

"Uh huh," Pony said.

"I just don't want you to get your heart broken like I did. Maybe you shouldn't be dating. I think you should go to a…what's it called…the place where the monks live," I said.

"Monastery," Pony said.

"Yeah! Go there! That way you won't date and you won't get your heart broken," I said.

"Yeah," Pony said. "I think that you need to go to bed, Darry."

"No, that's the last thing I need," I replied.

"I don't think so. I really think that you should go to bed now," Pony said.

"Do you know what I need, Pony? I need to spread the word that women are evil, evil creatures and that everyone with half a brain needs to stay away from them," I said. I started to reach for the phone, but Pony grabbed my hand and stopped me.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I just told you what I'm doing," I said. "I'm spreading the word that women are evil, and I'm starting with my friends. They should be the first to know!"

Pony tried to reason with me, "Darry, it's late. No one will be awake if you call them now. Why don't you wait until tomorrow?"

"I guess you're right," I sighed.

"So let's get you to bed," Pony said.

"But I've gotta finish my beer," I said.

"I think you've had enough for tonight," Ponyboy replied as he tried to lead me toward my room. But I wasn't going anywhere.

Pony and I argued about me finishing the beer for close to half an hour. I could tell that he was getting close to giving in, but then Two-Bit walked in. He seemed to be at his place a lot less lately, so he was probably looking for a place to crash for the night. He gave us a confused look.

"What are ya'll doin'?" He asked.

Pony gave him a look that said "just agree with me" before he said, "I'm trying to get Darry to go to bed, but he wants to finish drinking his beer first. But I don't think that's a good idea, don't you?" He gave Two-Bit a not-very-subtle wink.

"Yeah, maybe not," Two-Bit said. "But how about this, you go to bed, and I'll finish the beer for you. Doesn't that sound good?"

In my drunken state of mind, it actually did sound good. I stood up and started staggering to my room. I hadn't been drunk since high school, so I had forgotten how hard it was to walk. Two-Bit and Ponyboy ended up having to lead me to my room and tuck me into bed like I was a little kid, but I probably couldn't have done it by myself. Almost as soon as I got into bed, I fell into a deep, drunk sleep.

At about 3 A.M., I woke up feeling really sick. I looked around my room and noticed that Pony was sleeping next to me. I shook him awake.

"Huh?" He said. He was still half asleep.

"Pony, I'm gonna be sick," I said.

"Trashcan is on the night table," he said.

I looked over at my night table and saw that everything had been taken off of it and replaced by the plastic wastebasket that's normally in the bathroom. I grabbed it in just enough time.

After I was done throwing up, Pony was completely awake. He went into the bathroom and got a rag with cold water on it so I could clean off my face while he went to the back yard to dump out the trashcan.

"Do you need anything else?" He asked when he got back to the bedroom.

"Not yet, but I'm sure this isn't the only time that I'll be sick tonight," I replied. I knew that I would probably have a pretty bad hangover the next day too.

"We'll worry about that later," Pony said. "Just go back to sleep now, and let me know if you need anything."

I nodded, but then I realized that Pony couldn't see me in the dark. I was too tired to reply out loud. I laid awake for a while and then fell back asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

I was sick a few more times during the night, but other than that I slept pretty well. The next day though was pure hell. I had been scheduled to work a double shift, but after only about five minutes of being awake I knew I couldn't do it and I had to call in sick. I was hung over and I had an awful, throbbing headache, and thinking about all the money I had lost by not working made it even worse.

I was really ticked off at myself for getting so drunk the night before. It was stupid and irresponsible of me. I couldn't believe that I had let my feelings get the best of me like that, and it bugged me to think that remembering what Shirley had done to me, even though it was years ago, was still enough to start me on a drinking binge. I sighed and fell back against the pillows on my bed. I just didn't understand it. Why was I taking a years-old breakup harder than I should? I didn't even take my own parents' deaths this hard. I'm supposed to be the levelheaded, rational one in this family. That's why the state gave me custody of Pony and Soda. But I'm sure if the judge could see me now, he would think twice about his decision.

There was a soft knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I said.

Pony stuck his head in my room. "Do you need anything?" He asked.

I shook my head and then realized that was a bad idea. It made my head hurt more.

"Actually, yeah," I said. "Can you get me some aspirin? And maybe some crackers or something?"

"Sure. I'll be right back," Pony said.

I lay back against the pillows again and closed my eyes until Pony came back.

"Thanks," I said as he sat the aspirin and crackers down on the bedside table.

"No problem," Pony said. "Is there anything else I can do? I can make us dinner tonight if you want me to."

My stomach was churning. The last thing I wanted to do was think about dinner. "Yeah, there's something you can do. Don't talk about food around me for the rest of the day."

"Your hangover's that bad, huh?" Pony asked.

"Oh yeah. I don't see how Two-Bit does it," I replied. Two-Bit was always going out drinking and then nursing a hangover the next day, but even when he was hung over he still managed to be his usual, wisecracking self.

Pony smiled, "I don't know either," he said.

"Well, I have some homework that I need to do," Pony said after a few minutes. "Are you going to be all right?"

"I'll be fine. Go do your homework," I replied.

"Ok. Take it easy, and I'll come check on you in another hour or so," Pony said.

"All right," I said. Pony was starting to leave the room, but I felt like I needed to tell him something before he went to do his homework.  
"Pony," I said. He turned around.

"You're a good brother," I said. "Thanks for taking care of me."

"You're a good brother too, Darry. And I really don't mind taking care of you. God knows you've taken care of me for a long time even when you didn't have to, so I definitely owe you one," Pony replied.

I smiled, "Do your homework."

Pony smiled back at me and then went to do his homework. He and I had gotten a lot closer since the second semester of his freshman year. And now that Soda is in Vietnam, Pony and I are closer than ever. I'm just glad that we're not at each other's throats like we were a year ago any more. I'm stressed out enough working three jobs; I don't need to throw fighting with my kid brother into the mix.

I slept and ate the crackers that Pony brought me for the rest of the day. I started feeling better at around eight, so I decided to leave my room and see what was going on in the rest of the house.

Two-Bit was sitting on the couch watching "Batman", but once I came into the living room he wasn't interested in what was on the TV any more.

"Hey Darry," he practically shouted. "Man, you were drunk last night! Did you like it? What do you remember? How's your hangover? You know what a good hangover cure is? More beer!"

Two-Bit thought that was a pretty good joke, and he laughed long and loud about it. My head had been feeling better, but that put a pretty quick end to it.

"Two-Bit, your voice," I said.

"Oh sorry," he whispered. "I guess you're still hung over."

"Not too bad. Loud noises just hurt my head," I said.

Two-Bit nodded, "I know what you mean. So tell me, what started you drinking last night anyway? I didn't think you usually drank much, but you sure did a lot of damage to my case."

"Sorry about that. I'll get you another. I just really needed some booze last night," I said.

"Don't worry about it. Seeing you drunk was repayment enough," Two-Bit laughed. "Seriously though, what made you want to get drunk all of a sudden? And a better question, why didn't you call me first? I would've been happy to drink with you."

"It's stupid, really. You probably don't want to hear about it," I said.

"Humor me," Two-Bit said. He normally didn't push this hard for people to talk about things. I had to wonder if maybe Pony had put him up to it.

"I was cleaning and I found some pictures of me and one of my ex-girlfriends. I'm still in love with her, even though she left me and it was a really long time ago. I just wanted to drink. I thought it might make me feel better," I said.

"Wait, are we talking about Shirley?" Two-Bit asked. He had known her. The whole gang had.

"Yeah. Stupid, isn't it?" I replied.

Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow, "Really? You still love her?"

I nodded. I didn't feel like talking any more.

"I know someone who can help you," Two-Bit said. "She's an old friend of mine and once you spend the night with her, you forget about any other women."

"Are you talking about a drink or an actual person?" I asked. You never know with Two-Bit.

"A person. Her name's Carol. I'll give her a call and set you guys up," Two-Bit said.

"Wait, you don't have to!" I said, but it was too late. Two-Bit was already on the phone with Carol.

"All right," Two-Bit said after he hung up the phone a few minutes later. "You will be going out with Carol…something, her last name isn't important tomorrow at 10."

"You really didn't have to do that. In fact, I wish you hadn't," I said.

Two-Bit grinned, "You'll thank me later."

That night after Pony had gone to bed and Two-Bit had left, I got out of bed and grabbed the box of pictures of me and Shirley and I took one of Pony's lighters off the kitchen table. I went out into the back yard and sat on the stoop. I hoped that Two-Bit was right and that after I saw Carol tomorrow I would forget completely about Shirley. But I had told myself that even if Carol couldn't rid my memory of Shirley, the least I could do was to get rid of her pictures.

I flicked the lighter open and held it up to the corner of one of the pictures. It was oddly satisfying to watch it burn.

"Shirley May McMaster, consider yourself forgotten," I said as I watched the picture become engulfed in flames.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

At ten o'clock the next night, I was mostly ready for my date with Carol. I was dressed right to go out and everything, but I just wasn't looking forward to it. I had worked all day, and the last thing I wanted to do was go out on a blind date. The thought of finally forgetting Shirley was all that kept me from calling Two-Bit and telling him to break off my date with Carol.

At 10:15, Carol still hadn't shown up. I was starting to hope that maybe she had forgotten, but then a car pulled up in front of my house and a girl who looked about my age got out of the car. She was probably the trashiest-looking greaser girl I had ever seen. She had blonde hair, but it pretty obviously wasn't her natural color, and it had been dyed so many times that it looked dry and dead. Her face was caked with makeup, and her skirt was disgustingly short. I was ashamed to be going out with someone like her. She looked like the type that you would take to a motel that charged by the hour, and then you would have to worry about how much to pay her. As it turned out, my first impression of her was mostly right.

"So where are we goin'?" Carol asked once we got into my truck. She had the most horrible voice. I don't even know how to describe it, but it was like nails on a chalkboard to me.

"I don't know," I said. "I haven't been on a date in a while."

Carol laughed. "Yeah, that's what Two-Bit told me last night."

"So you guys are friends?" I asked. I knew Two-Bit had told me that he'd known her for a while, but I was just trying to make conversation. The sooner we realized that things wouldn't work out, the sooner I could go home.

"I'm everyone's friend, really," Carol said. She rested her hand a bit too high up on my thigh.

"Two-Bit, you're really going to get it tomorrow," I muttered. Was this his idea of a joke?

"What did you say?" Carol asked. Now she was rubbing the inside of my thigh. It actually did feel pretty good, but I knew what she wanted. I wasn't about to sleep with a girl who I didn't even know.

"Nothing. Forget about it," I said.

"Whatever you want," Carol replied.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do. We ended up going to see a movie, but it was pretty obvious that Carol didn't want to watch it. She kept putting her hands all over me and trying to kiss me. I was sick of having to push her off of me, and I just wanted the movie to be over so I could go home and get away from her.

Carol hadn't tried to touch me in several minutes, and I thought that she had finally gotten the idea that I didn't want to have a one-night stand with her, but then she leaned over and whispered something really dirty in my ear. I couldn't take it any more. I got up and walked out of the theater. Carol didn't even try to stop me or follow me out. I turned around before I left, and I saw that she was already flirting with another guy. I was sure that she wouldn't have any trouble finding a way home.

When I got back to my house, Pony was already in bed. I showered to get the terrible scent of Carol's perfume off of me, and then I went to bed. Maybe it was because being with Carol had gotten me into a dirty state of mind, but I had a pretty racy dream about Shirley. And when I woke up I missed her more than ever.

The next morning, I woke up to find Two-Bit sitting on the couch and watching TV. He grinned when he saw me.

"So how was your date with Carol?" He asked. "Do you even remember who Shirley is anymore?"

I rolled my eyes. "I guess you haven't talked to her lately?"

"No, I haven't. Did something happen?" Two-Bit said.

"More like something didn't happen," I said.

Two-Bit got what I was talking about, and I was glad that I didn't have to tell him all about last night. He would have thought it was funny, but I didn't want to think about it again.

"Well, at least I tried to do something to help you," Two-Bit said.

I nodded, "Thanks anyway."

I left for work about an hour later, and I couldn't help but notice that Carol's car was gone. My truck still reeked like her cheap perfume, and I drove the whole way to work with my windows down to try to get rid of the smell. I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of the situation. Two-Bit had said that going out with Carol would make me forget about Shirley, but it had only made me think about her more. Every time Carol shamelessly put her hands all over me, I would think, "Shirley would have never done that," and when I looked at her clothes and makeup I thought, "Shirley wouldn't have been caught dead looking like that."

Damn it, why can't I get Shirley out of my head?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

For the next month I only thought about work. I worked as many hours as I could at all three jobs, came home at the end of the day, and fell asleep on the couch. Pony thought that I was working too hard, and I knew I was. I wanted to work too hard though; it was the only thing that kept my mind off Shirley. I was also bringing in quite a bit of extra money, so I couldn't really complain.

The weather had started to get cooler, which made working a bit more tolerable but not much. I knew that winter wasn't far off, and working outside in the cold is almost as bad as working outside in the heat. I wished I could find a nice job inside, but none of them pay enough. At least with outside jobs you get time off if the weather is too bad.

I was driving home from work late one rainy Saturday night. I had worked a shift at two of my jobs that day, and I was exhausted. Pony was sleeping over at a friend's house, and I was looking forward to having the house to myself. I was also pretty happy that it was raining because I always sleep better when it's raining, and I really need a good night's sleep.

I had been working just outside of Tulsa, and I had just gotten to the city limits when I saw a hitchhiker on the side of the road. The person was wearing high-heels so I knew she was a girl, but the hood from a jacket covered up her face. I wasn't going to stop, but I felt bad leaving a girl all alone in the rain, so I pulled over and opened the door.

"Get in," I yelled over the roar of the rain and my car engine. She did.

"Where you headed?" I asked. I still hadn't seen her face.

"731 North St. Louis Street. I can get you there if you don't know where it is," she replied.

I had been driving forward, but I slammed on the breaks. I would have known this hitchhiker's voice anywhere, even if she hadn't known my address. I put the car in park and stared at her. She had finally taken her hood off.

"Shirley," I said.

"Darry," she said.

We just stared at each other for about five minutes. Pretty much every emotion was going through my head. I was angry at her, I loved her, I wanted to kick her out of my car and make her find someone else to hitchhike with, I wanted to take her back to my place and tell her that she cold never leave. I wanted to punch her as hard as I could; I wanted to kiss her as hard as I could. But I couldn't do anything but stare.

"What the hell?" I finally managed to say.

"I don't know," she said.

That was good enough for me. I drove us back to my house. Once we were there, I gave her some of my clothes to wear. They were too big, but at least they were dry.

"Why did you come back?" I asked her after we had sat in the living room for a half hour of awkward silence.

"It's such a long story, Darry," she said.

"I have all night," I said.

She sighed, "I'm so sorry about what happened with us. I didn't plan on it. I wanted to be with you. But I knew that I couldn't just make you raise a kid that's not even yours. They take so much time and money, and I couldn't burden you with that. I moved in with Richard, the baby's father, but he was a jerk. He was always sneaking around with other women, and he would hit me. When I went to have the baby…"

Her voice trailed off, and it seemed like she was about to cry, "It was a stillborn," she finished.

I didn't know what to say. What could I say? I was supposed to be angry with her because she broke my heart, but I felt horrible for her because of everything she had been through. I wanted to hold her and make her stop crying, but I told myself that I couldn't yet. I felt like I needed to pretend that I hadn't missed her and that her being back didn't affect me at all.

"The worst part was that Richard didn't even go to the hospital with me when I had the baby," Shirley continued. "He never visited me in the hospital either, and when I finally got to come home, one of his other girlfriends was living with him. I should have left then, but I didn't know what to do. So I stuck around and put up with his shit until yesterday, and then I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't even think to pack my things. I just left."

"But why did you come back here?" I asked. I was trying so hard not to jump out of my chair, run over to the couch, and hug her as tight as I could.

"I had to at least tell you I'm sorry," Shirley said. "And I know it's a long shot, but I was really hoping you would take me back."

I looked at her. She looked so sad wearing my too-big Will Rogers High School football sweatshirt and sweatpants, and her hair was still soaking wet. Her eyes were sunken and tired, but somehow she was still as beautiful as she had ever been. I don't remember getting out of my chair and walking over to the couch, but somehow I found myself sitting next to Shirley. I hugged her tight and kissed her on the cheek.

"Welcome back," I whispered in her ear. "I've missed you."

The rain was still pouring down, but I wasn't worried about getting a good night's sleep any more. I was too busy looking at Shirley, who was lying next to me in my bed. She and I had cuddled for a long time before she finally fell asleep in my arms. I felt like a creep, but I couldn't stop staring at her. I had thought she would never come back, but now here she is, in my arms, just like she's supposed to be.

I fell asleep happier than I had been in years.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

I woke up the next morning to my alarm clock ringing. I rolled over and hit it to make it stop without even opening my eyes. I wasn't ready to wake up. I wanted to stay in my bed with Shirley.

"Darry?" I heard her say.

"Yeah," I said. "Go back to sleep, honey. I've just got to get up for work."

"Can I make you breakfast or something?" She asked.

I almost said yes, but then I remembered that Pony would be home from his friend's house any time. I didn't know how he would feel about me taking Shirley back, and I didn't want to upset him if I cold avoid it. I decided that the best way for him to find out wouldn't be walking into the kitchen and finding Shirley making breakfast. But I knew I'd have to tell him soon.

"Nah," I said. "Just go back to sleep. I'm sure you're tired."

"Ok," she murmured. She was already falling asleep again.

I got dressed for work, made some coffee and eggs for my breakfast, and then sat down to eat and read the paper. The headlines said that the death toll in Vietnam was climbing, and it made me worry about Sodapop. He tries to keep in touch with Pony and I by writing letters, but it takes a long time for them to get back and fourth. Sometimes I'll be almost sure that he's dead because we haven't heard from him in so long, but then I'll check the mail and there will be a letter from him. It's been almost a month since Ponyboy and I heard from him last. It's nothing new, but I'm already starting to get a bit worried. I can tell that Pony is worried too. He checks and then rechecks the mail several times every day to make sure that there's nothing from Soda, and every time the news talks about Vietnam he pays really close attention to see whether they mention Soda's platoon or not. We're both just hoping that he comes back alive.

I looked up at the clock and realized that I was late for work. I finished my coffee and went back into my room.

"Shirley," I said as I shook her awake.

"Huh?" She said sleepily.

"I've gotta go to work. I'll be back later this afternoon. You can stay here and sleep as long as you want, Ok?"

"Yeah, sure," she said.

I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later," I said.

"Bye," she said.

I drove to work wondering how to tell Ponyboy about Shirley. I didn't want to upset him, but I needed to make sure he knew that Shirley was staying whether he liked it or not. Maybe if I found a book or movie to relate it to that would make it easier for him. He's always reading books or watching movies. Surely he's heard about something like this happening before. But it's different in real life, especially when it's happening in your own house with your own brother. I started to hope that maybe he would come home and Shirley would be in the living room or something so he would see her. That way I wouldn't have to tell him.

Work that day seemed to last forever. I just wanted to go home and see Shirley again. There were so many times when I was tempted to tell the boss that I wasn't feeling well so I could leave early, but I knew that I had to stay. We needed the money. The end of the day finally came, and I drove home as fast as I could.

Ponyboy wasn't home when I got there, but he'd left a note on the table that said he was at the library and he would be home at around six for dinner. I looked at the clock and realized that meant I only had two hours to figure out how to tell Pony about Shirley.

I got two pieces of chocolate cake out of the fridge and then went in my room. Shirley was awake. She was sitting on my bed reading one of my books, but she put it down and smiled at me when I came in the room. She looked better than she had last night. It was probably because she'd gotten to sleep for a while.

"So when did you finally wake up?" I asked as I sat down next to her on the bed.

She laughed, "Not even an hour ago. I was exhausted. How was work?"

I shrugged, "Fine, I guess."

We were quiet for a few minutes while we ate our cake, and then Shirley asked, "Isn't this your parents' room?"

It had been my parents' room. Before they died, I had shared a room with Pony and Soda. After they died, I took my parents' room and Pony and Soda stayed in the room we had all shared.

"It is," I said. "I guess you haven't talked to any of our old friends for a while."

She gave me a confused look, "No. Did something happen?"

I took a deep breath, "My parents are dead, Shirley. It was over a year ago now. They were in a car accident."

"Oh my God," Shirley whispered. "What happened to Pony and Soda? Don't tell me they were in the car with them."

"No," I said. "They're fine. I'm their guardian now. Pony is a sophomore in high school now, and Sodapop was working at a DX, but now he's in Vietnam."

Shirley was shaking her head, "I'm so sorry about your parents," she said.

"Thanks," I said.

Shirley held me close to her. It was nice to have someone paying attention to me instead of the other way around. I kicked my shoes off and took off my jeans, and Shirley and I crawled under the covers together. I thought we would just hold each other for a while, but we ended up falling asleep.

I woke up to Ponyboy yelling "Darry, are you here?"

I was still half-asleep, so I wasn't thinking when I yelled, "In my room."

By then Shirley was awake. There was no way to hide her. The door to my room opened, and Pony saw us. He gave me a confused look for a minute, and then he glared at Shirley.

I could tell this wasn't going to be pretty.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

I thought that Ponyboy was going to be upset and that he was going to start yelling at Shirley and I, but instead he just turned and walked out of the room. To me, that was even worse.

"Let me talk to him, Darry," Shirley said. "I caused this mess. I should be the one to clean it up."

"No," I said. "I think I'm the one who needs to talk to him. I'm his brother."

"Do you even know what you're going to say?" Shirley asked.

"Nope," I said as I zipped my jeans. "But now isn't exactly the time to sit down and think of an award-winning speech to give him. I'll just have to go with whatever I can think of."

"Good luck," Shirley said.

I set my jaw, "I have a feeling I'll need it."

Pony was sitting on the front porch smoking a cigarette. He pretended not to notice when I came outside and sat down next to him. I sighed.

"Pony," I started. "I know that you probably weren't expecting to come home and find Shirley here."

Pony snorted, "Yeah, that's one way to put it."

"And you're probably kind of upset about the situation," I said.

Pony looked up at me. "Upset isn't really the right word for it. It's just…I don't know, Darry. I don't know how to say this."

We were quiet for a minute, and then Pony continued. "It's not that I don't want you to have a girlfriend or anything like that. I just think that taking Shirley back isn't a good idea. Did you forget that she cheated on you and got pregnant? Do you just not remember how much you cried over her? And I wouldn't be surprised if you don't remember the drinking binge that she caused a few months ago, but surely you must remember the hangover."

"I didn't forget," I started.

"Then why did you take her back?" Pony demanded. "She could leave you again, you know. And I don't want to know how that will turn out."

"I know that she could leave me again, but I don't think she will," I said. "She's told me that she knows she made a mistake and that she's sorry. She's been through a lot in these past few years."

"So have we!" Pony interrupted. "Does she know about Mom and Dad dying? Does she know what happened with Johnny and Dally? Does she know that you could have lost Soda and I? Does she know that Soda is in Vietnam, and that he could be dead right now? We've been through so much, Darry. The last thing we need is her."

"She knows some of what happened," I said. "But do _you_ know what _she's _been through? Did you know that the guy who got her pregnant was a womanizing ass who wouldn't even visit her in the hospital when she had their stillborn baby? Did you know he hit her? She had to hitchhike here; she didn't even pack any clothes."

Ponyboy was starting to look a bit less angry; "How cold he not visit her in the hospital?"

"Because he's a jerk," I said. "And that's not even the worst part. When Shirley got back to the house they were living in, he had another girl living with him."

He was looking less upset by the second, "I guess if she's really sorry then I can forgive her," Pony said. "I just don't want her to hurt you again. I've never told you this before, but it killed me to see you crying in bed after she left you. I don't want to have to see that again, and I don't want you to get your heart broken again either."

"I don't want that to happen either," I said. "But I'll risk it. It's like that saying, 'No man is an island'. I'm not an island, Pony. I can't stand being by myself. I know I have you and Soda and a few other friends, but what I really need is someone who loves me like Shirley does. Now that she's back I can have that again. And I don't want that to change any time soon. Savvy?"

Pony smiled, "Yeah."

"So you're ok with her staying?" I asked. I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"Sure," Ponyboy said.

I ruffled his hair, and Pony made a face at me and made a big deal of trying to fix it before we went inside.

The rest of the night went well. Shirley helped me cook dinner while Ponyboy finished his homework. We got caught up on what had been happening to everyone for the past two years while we ate dinner and for about an hour or so afterward. Pony was starting to warm up to Shirley again. I think he could tell that she really did love me and that she wasn't planning on leaving me again.

Time got away from us and before I knew it, it was midnight. Pony had school the next day, and I had to get up early for work, so we all went to bed.

"Whatever you said to Pony really worked," Shirley said once we were in my room. "He seemed fine with me being here after you talked to him."

"I know," I said. "I was kind of surprised at how well it went."

"It must be because we really are meant to be," Shirley said after a few minutes of silence.

I looked at her. The moonlight was streaming in through the holes in the blinds, and it reflected off her hair and lit up her face just right.

I couldn't help myself. I kissed her long and hard while I held her tight, and she kissed me back and held me just as tightly.

"I think you're right," I said after our kiss. "This really is meant to be."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

The next day I had the morning off, and I spent it talking to Richard, the guy who Shirley had lived with in Austin. She had tried calling him to make him send her the things she had left behind, but he wouldn't even talk to her. So I ended up calling him, and I basically had to threaten him into sending Shirley her things. I had to wonder if he would even do it or if he just said he would to make me leave him alone. I wasn't in too great of a mood when I hung up the phone. Shirley could tell, and she gave me an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry you had to do that," She said. "But thank you."

I nodded. "It's no problem," I said even though it was.

Shirley laughed, "You had to talk to Richard. That makes it a problem."

I smiled at her, "Yeah, but at least I was able to save you from having to talk to him."

She kissed me on the cheek, "My hero," she said. And I could tell that she meant it.

I had to leave for work after that, and I still wasn't in too great of a mood because of my bad morning. So I worked harder than I usually do that day at my roofing job, carrying two or sometimes even three bales of roofing up the ladder. By the end of the day I was so sore that I could hardly drive home. The muscles in my arms were shaking because of how hard they'd been worked, and my back was killing me. I told myself to never do that again, but somehow I knew that I probably would.

I came home to find Ponyboy and Two-Bit sitting on the couch looking at a piece of paper. They both looked up at me when I came in.

"Hey, Darry," Pony said. "We finally got a letter from Sodapop."

That took my mind off my aching muscles. I took the letter from Pony, and I sat down on the couch to read it. Soda didn't say much, he never really does because he was never too good at writing. I guess that there's not much to write about either. He pretty much goes on patrols and occasionally shoots at people every day. He's told us about some friends that he's made and how they get to watch movies every now and then, but mostly he just writes us to let us know that he's still alive and he misses us. It's funny to me that his letters are usually about a page long, and we send him four or five page letters back.

I handed the letter back to Pony. He folded it and put it on the coffee table.

"I'm gonna do some homework," he said. "Let me know when dinner's ready." He got up and walked toward his room. He always gets kind of sad and wants to be alone after reading one of Soda's letters. He really misses him.

"So, Darry, I see Shirley is back," Two-Bit said after Pony left.

"Yeah," I said.

"When did that happen?" He asked.

"'Few days ago," I said. I knew he was going to ask why she was there, so I saved him the trouble, "I found her hitchhiking just outside of town. She couldn't stand the guy she was with any more, so she left him and she was coming back to Tulsa to try and find me and apologize for what she'd done."

"So you let her stay?" Two-Bit asked.

I nodded, "How could I not?"

He grinned, "I bet there was some really good make-up sex, huh?"

"Not exactly," I said. Shirley and I hadn't even fooled around since she'd been back. I was kind of afraid to try anything because her last experience with a guy was so bad. I didn't want her to leave me like she had left him.

Two-Bit smirked, "Yeah? Well you'd better get on that, or else."

"Or else what?" I asked.

"Or else I will!" He said and then burst out laughing. I grabbed the newspaper that was on the table, rolled it up, and hit him with it. I was pretty sure he was joking, but sometimes you never know with him. It didn't help that he liked blondes so much either.

Two-Bit was still laughing when I got up and walked into the kitchen to start cooking dinner. But then I realized that someone had beat me to it.

I walked over to Shirley, who was stirring a pot of something, and put my arms around her waist. She jumped and turned around.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey yourself," I replied. "So what are you making for us?"

Shirley had always been an excellent cook. The home economics teacher in high school loved her because she made everything perfectly the first time. They were always sharing recipes, and I'm pretty sure they exchanged addresses before Shirley went to college. I thought it was weird, but she was almost like a second mom to Shirley.

"Spaghetti," Shirley said. "I was going to make something more exciting, but you guys didn't have much to work with."

It was true; we were pretty low on food. I'd have to go to the grocery sometime later in the week. Or maybe I could just send Shirley.

"How soon until dinner is ready?" I asked.

"Ten minutes, maybe," Shirley said.

"I'm gonna take a shower," I said. "I should be done before it's ready."

In the shower, I found myself thinking dirty thoughts about Shirley. Probably because of the stupid comment Two-Bit had made. I hurried up in the shower. I didn't want to think about her that way. I just wanted to be happy with the fact that she was back.

After my shower and dinner, Pony, Shirley, and I all went in the living room and watched T.V. I laid down on the couch and let Shirley rub my back where I had pulled a muscle. Her back rubs aren't as good as Soda's, but they're close enough. After a little while, I felt myself falling asleep. I looked up at the clock, it was only 10, but I was tired.

"I'm going to go to bed," I said to Shirley. "You can stay up for a bit longer if you want. I know it's still pretty early."

"No, I'll go with you," She said.

"Night, Pony," I said as Shirley and I walked toward my room. "Don't stay up too late."

"'Night," Pony said. "I'll go to bed soon."

I closed the door to my room, and Shirley and I got into bed. The dirty thoughts started running through my mind again. I was about to make myself stop thinking about them, but then I felt Shirley kissing my ear. I used to love it when she did that.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She smiled, "I overheard your conversation with Two-Bit earlier," she said coyly.

"You did?" I asked.

"Mmm-hmm," she replied.

"So…Um…Do you, you know, want to?" I asked. I had never felt more awkward in my life.

"I thought you'd never ask," She replied. "Turn off the light."

I did as I was told, and I didn't regret it.

The next couple of months passed quickly. Richard actually sent Shirley her things, and since she had more clothes to wear, she went out and got a job at the cosmetics counter in a department store. I told her that she didn't have to, but I was glad she did because it meant I had to work less hard. Shirley also took over permanently as the cook at our house, which neither Pony nor I objected to. Pony was really starting to like having her around again, and I was more or less always in a good mood because of her. It seemed like things were going to work out fine.

But then December came along, and everything changed.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Author's Note: Sorry it took me forever to get this chapter up. I've been moving into a new apartment, and if you've ever moved you know it sucks. But I'm back now.

Disclaimer: I don't know if I need this or not, but better safe than have my story deleted. I don't own "Charlie Brown" or "A Charlie Brown Christmas".

December was a pretty busy month for Shirley. People were always coming into the store where she worked and buying perfumes or makeup to give as gifts for Christmas, so she was working a lot of overtime. I was glad that she was working though. The winter months are always the hardest time for me to find work, and December is the worst of all of them because people are leaving to go on Christmas vacations. So the extra money Shirley was making was a big help.

Pony and I went out and got a Christmas tree a week before Christmas. It wasn't very pretty and it was small, but it was cheap and it was a tree so that was good enough for me. Shirley laughed at it when we brought it home, and she started calling it "the Charlie Brown Christmas tree" because it looked like the pitiful tree that was in that Charlie Brown Christmas special last year.

I kept asking Shirley what she wanted for Christmas, but she wouldn't tell me. She just kept saying that taking her back and letting her stay with us was enough, but I wanted to get her something. I knew that she had gotten something for Pony and me because she had put the presents under the tree. I was running out of time, but I just couldn't think of anything good enough for her.

I was also kind of worried because Pony and I hadn't heard from Soda since early October. It wasn't really anything to get upset about, but I just had a bad feeling. Pony and I had talked about it, and he did too, but he was trying to ignore it. I hoped everything was ok with Soda, and that he would have a good Christmas in Vietnam.

Christmas Eve morning came. Shirley was in the kitchen baking gingerbread men and Pony was on the couch watching Christmas specials. I was in my room wrapping Shirley's present. I had finally found a pair of earrings that I thought she would like. I was almost done wrapping the present when the doorbell rang. My stomach lurched. No one ever rings the doorbell. I opened the door to see Pony holding a Western Union telegram. His hands were shaking. I walked over to him, and Shirley was suddenly next to us.

"Darry," he said. His voice was shaking.

"Maybe it's not Soda," I said. "We don't know that it's about Soda. It could be something else."

"It's from the Army," he said.

"Maybe he's sending us a telegram to tell us Merry Christmas," I said. I didn't believe that for a second.

Pony's hands were shaking so hard that he couldn't open the telegram. I took it from him and opened it.

_Mr. Curtis,_

_We regret to inform you…_

I couldn't read any more of it. I was terrified. Was he dead? Was he missing in action? Was he hurt?

"Oh, God," I whispered. I put the telegram down on the table. "I can't do this."

Pony, Shirley, and I stood there and stared at the telegram. I just wanted it to go away. Maybe if I closed my eyes really tight it would disappear. Finally, Shirley picked the telegram up from the table.

"Do you want me to read it out loud?" She asked.

I nodded, "Sure." I knew that whatever it said, there was no way to get around it. I figured that I might as well get it over with.

"Mr. Curtis, we regret to inform you that your brother Sodapop has been wounded by enemy fire near Chu Lai, and he will no longer be allowed in combat. Please stand by for information concerning his return home," She read. She looked up from the telegram when she was done reading, "He's coming home."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Sure he was hurt, but having him home hurt and alive was better than having him sent home in a wooden box. I looked over at Pony, and I was surprised to see that he was crying.

"Pony, what's wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head, "I was just so scared. I thought we had lost him like we lost mom and dad and Johnny and Dally."

"I know, buddy," I said. "I was too. But he's OK. He's alive, and he's coming home."

Pony and I were both in a good mood for the rest of the day. We ate almost all the gingerbread men Shirley made, had a snowball fight, and called everyone we knew to let them know that Soda was coming home. Shirley didn't seem as happy though. She was smiling and laughing with us, but it seemed like something was bothering her. I couldn't figure out what it was, and I didn't know why she wouldn't be happy about Soda coming home.

We all went to bed early that night. We joked that it was because Santa wouldn't come if we didn't, but really everyone was just tired. Once Shirley and I were in my bed and under the covers, I put my arms around her and kissed her neck.

"Shirley, honey, what's bothering you?" I asked.

"Nothing," She replied. I knew she was lying.

"You've just seemed kind of distant all day," I said. "It's like ever since we heard about Soda you've seemed upset."

She sighed, "I'm not upset; I'm just worried."

"About what?" I asked.

"I don't know if I should tell you this," She said. "I don't want to worry you too."

"Just tell me, baby," I said.

"Well when I was at Texas I took a psychology class," She started. "It was the only class I didn't fail. But in that class the teacher told us that sometimes people will come back from war, and they've developed this mental condition. It's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and basically you're not the same when you have it. People with it have flashbacks and nightmares and really violent mood swings. A lot of them never get over it. I'm just worried that the Soda who went to Vietnam isn't going to be the Soda who comes back."

I knew what Shirley was talking about. There had been a story on the news about it a few months ago. But I had a feeling that Soda would be fine. He had seen so much death already; I hoped that had helped him to cope in Vietnam.

I held Shirley tight against me and kissed her, "Don't worry any more," I said. "I don't want you to worry. I'm sure that everything will be fine."

"I hope so," Shirley said.

I didn't want to say it out loud because I didn't want to worry her more, but I hoped so too. And I really didn't think that everything would be fine, but all I could do was brace myself and hope for the best. But somehow I knew I was going to get the worst.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Two weeks after we got the telegram, we were sitting in the airport waiting for Sodapop's plane to land. We weren't sure about the extent of his injuries, but we knew they were pretty bad. I could tell that Pony was excited about Soda coming home, but I was nervous. I didn't know what to expect.

Shirley was sitting next to me and holding my hand. She hadn't wanted to come to the airport to get Sodapop at first because she thought just his brothers should be there, but I was finally able to talk her into going. I was glad she was there too. Pony was too excited to see that I was nervous, but Shirley can read me like a book. She squeezed my hand and gave me a kiss on the cheek every few minutes. It was helping to calm my nerves a little, but not much.

Finally, the plane that Soda was on landed, and we waited for him to get off. There were several other war veterans on the plane, and Shirley made sure to thank every one of them for their service. I had to laugh at her. It was just like her to do something like that.

Finally, a stewardess pushing someone in a wheelchair walked off the plane. I didn't recognize him until Pony yelled out his name and ran toward him.

Soda looked kind of shocked and disoriented. His hair was still in the military crew cut that he had to get before he went to Vietnam. I couldn't believe how bad he was hurt. He had a big scar across his face and several cuts and bruises, but that wasn't the worst part. His right leg below the knee was missing. It wasn't badly cut up or anything, it was just _gone_. I didn't want to look at it, but somehow I couldn't stop.

"They've got him on some medicine for the pain from his injuries, so that's why he's so out of it," the stewardess explained. She handed me a bottle of pills. "Give him one of these two times a day."

I nodded.

"It's almost time for another dose, so he won't be as disoriented in a little while, but he'll also start hurting pretty badly so don't wait too long to give him the medicine."

"Ok," I said. I didn't know what else I could say to that.

"Also, you might want to contact the V.A. about some sort of physical therapy for him. They recommend it for amputees," the stewardess said.

"I will," I said. I just wanted to get out of the airport and get Soda home.

Soon enough we were in the truck and heading home. Just like the stewardess had said, Soda was starting to seem a little less loopy, but not much.

"I've missed you guys," he said to Pony and me. His speech was slow and a little slurred, almost like he was drunk.

"We've missed you too, buddy," I said. "We're glad you're alive."

"Same here," he said. "When I got shot back in 'Nam, all I could think was 'oh shit, I'm gonna die', but then I didn't."

No one knew how to respond, so we all sat in silence for a few minutes until Soda started talking again.

"Woah! Shirley, when did you get here?" He asked. Had he really just noticed she was there?

"A few months ago," she said.

"Well good," Soda said. "Good for you. I always knew you and Darry would end up together."

Shirley squeezed my hand, and I smiled at her. We both knew that Soda was more than a little out of it, but it made me happy to know he wanted us to be together. I just hoped he would feel the same way when the medicine wore off completely.

We finally got home, and Pony and I helped Soda out of the car. I carried him to the room that he and Pony shared and put him on the bed. Soda had started to complain that his leg was hurting when we got close to home, so I gave him some of his medicine.

"Anything else you need?" I asked.

Soda shook his head, "Nah, I'll be out cold in a few minutes anyway."

I laughed, "We're glad you're back."

"I'm happy to be here," he said. "I was so scared that I wouldn't see you or Pony again."

Soda fell asleep a few minutes later, and he slept until we were all ready to go to bed. Shirley had warned Pony and me that Soda might have nightmares for a while. Pony wanted to stay in their room with him, but we decided that it was best if he slept on the couch for a few nights. If Soda woke up from a nightmare and he was still half-asleep, having Pony there might have just scared him more instead of comforted him.

After we made sure that Soda and Pony were asleep, Shirley and I went to bed and started making out under the covers. It felt so nice, and I didn't ever want to stop and get out of bed again, but then I heard a blood-curdling scream.

"Oh no," I said. "Soda."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Pony made it to Soda's room before Shirley and I did. He was sitting on the bed with his arm around Soda's shoulders and talking to him quietly. Soda's eyes were open wide, and he was shaking a little. I could tell that something had really scared him.

"You ok, buddy?" I asked as I sat down on the bed next to Soda.

"Yeah," he said in between deep breaths. "I'm fine now. It was just a bad dream."

"You wanna talk about it?" Pony asked.

Soda shook his head, "I don't want to think about it any more."

"That's fine," Pony said. He still had his arm around Soda.

After a few minutes, Soda started laughing. " You know, it's funny. I'm usually the one calming you down after you have a nightmare, Pony. But now you're calming me down."

Pony smiled, "Yeah. It is funny, isn't it?"

We sat in silence with Soda for a few more minutes. It seemed like he was calming down.

"You gonna be ok, buddy?" I asked.

Soda nodded, "Go on back to bed, Darry. You've probably got work in the morning. I'll let you sleep."

"You want me to stay?" Pony asked.

"Yeah, that'd be tuff," Soda said.

I could tell that Shirley was about to object, but at the last minute she decided against it. "If you're ok then we'll get back to bed," she said.

"I'm fine now," Soda said. "'Night, ya'll."

"'Night," I said.

Shirley and I went back in my room and closed the door behind us. She flopped down on the bed and sighed.

"I have a bad feeling about this," she said.

I got into the bed next to her, "They'll be fine, Shirley. I don't think that having Pony there will bother Soda too much, even if he is waking up from a nightmare. Heck, it might even help him."

Shirley sighed, "I guess you're right."

I gave her a kiss and then turned off the light, "I know I'm right." But I didn't really. I actually had no idea what to expect.

Soda didn't have any more nightmares for the rest of the night, and he was still asleep when I got up for work the next morning. Pony was back at school because his Christmas break was over, so Shirley was taking some time off work to keep an eye on Soda. I hoped that the day would go ok for them, and that Soda wouldn't have any more nightmares or war flashbacks.

I came home from work that evening to find Shirley and Pony sitting on the couch and looking upset.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Pony shook his head. He looked close to tears.

"Soda's just been…moody today," Shirley said. "It's the worst when his medicine is starting to wear off. I've been trying to tell Pony that it's normal and that Soda will be feeling better soon."

Pony shook his head, "Something's really wrong with him, Darry," he said to me. "We've gotta get him better."

I didn't know what to do. I could tell that the way Soda was acting was really bothering Pony, but he had only been back from Vietnam for a day. I didn't expect him to get over the shock of everything that fast, but I wanted him to start feeling better as soon as possible. Then I remembered what the stewardess on the airplane had said. It was something about calling the V.A. about physical therapy for his leg. Maybe they would know something about his nightmares and mood swings too.

"I'll call the V.A. in the morning," I said. "Maybe they'll know what to do."

Pony nodded, and Shirley got up off the couch.

"I'm gonna go make dinner," she said.

I gave her a kiss on the cheek and whispered "'love you," in her ear before she disappeared into the kitchen.

Pony and I sat on the couch and watched T.V. while Shirley made dinner. After a little while, I heard a voice from one of the bedrooms say, "Pony?"

Pony shook his head, "I'm not going," he said. "I just don't think I can deal with him, Darry. He's not the same."

I stood up, "I'll see what he needs."

"Thanks," Pony said.

I walked into Soda's room. I could see what Pony meant when he said that Soda wasn't the same. He seemed anxious.

"Hey," I said as I sat down on the edge of Soda's bed. "What do you need?"

"Is it time for my medicine yet?" He asked. "My leg hurts."

I looked at the clock, "You've still got a few more hours to go."

Soda sighed, "I can't stand it, Darry. My leg hurts so much, and I can only have this stupid medicine twice a day. It doesn't hardly do anything for the pain anymore anyway. I don't know why I want it so much."

"I'll call the V.A. tomorrow and see if there's anything they can do about that," I said.

And just like that, Soda didn't seem edgy and upset any more. His eyes were filled up with tears, "You'd really do that for me?" he asked.

"Of course," I said. "I'm your brother. I'd do anything for you."

Soda started to cry a little, "Thanks, Darry." He sniffled. "That's so nice of you."

I could definitely see what Pony and Shirley were talking about now. Soda wasn't himself at all. He was never this moody before. I didn't know what I should do to help him. I decided that it was probably best for me not to do anything. I didn't want to risk upsetting him again.

"I think dinner's almost ready," I said after a long, awkward silence. "Do you want to eat?"

Soda shook his head, "That medicine makes me not hungry."

I nodded and got up off the bed. "All right. Well let me know if you change your mind or if you need anything else."

Soda nodded.

Pony and Shirley seemed distracted for the rest of the night, and I knew that they were thinking about Soda. I was too, but I was trying not to show it. I couldn't believe how much he had changed after being in Vietnam, and I was worried that he would never get back to his normal self.

It started to get late, and Shirley and I went to bed. Soda wanted Pony to stay in his room again. I could tell that Pony didn't want to stay, but I told him that it might make Soda feel better. Shirley also said that if Soda kept Pony up all night then she would write him a note getting him out of school the next day. I wasn't crazy about Pony missing school, but if it would help Soda, then I was willing to try anything.

I couldn't get to sleep that night. I tossed and turned for over an hour before I gave up on sleep. I got out of bed and took one of my photo albums out of my closet. I started looking at pictures of mom and dad, me and Soda and Pony, my old friends from high school, and the gang. I stopped and looked at one picture for a long time. It was a family portrait that we had taken when I was a senior in high school. I couldn't get over how young everyone looked, and it killed me to see the big grin on Sodapop's face. I wondered if he would ever smile like that again.

I felt a pair of arms around my shoulders. I jumped and saw that Shirley was standing behind me.

"Come to bed," she said.

"Just another minute," I said.

Shirley sat down next to me and started looking at the picture that I was looking at.

"You guys look so happy," she said.

I shook my head, "It's all falling apart," I said. I was surprised at how my voice sounded like I was going to cry.

Shirley put her arm around my shoulder, "What do you mean?"

I sniffed, "Mom and dad died, and now Soda's all messed up from Vietnam. I don't even know what's going to happen to Pony, especially if Soda doesn't get better…" my voice trailed off.

Shirley hugged me tight, "It's gonna be Ok," she said. "I'm sorry about your parents, but it's too late to worry about that now. We've just gotta think about how to get Soda back to normal right now. And Pony will turn out all right. He's a good kid."

I nodded.

"And I'm here," she said softly, "I'll always be here for you."

"Good," I said. "Because I really need you right now."

Shirley gave me a long, deep kiss and then led me back to bed where she held me for the rest of the night.


End file.
